Be careful what you wish for

Have you ever set new year’s resolutions only to have fallen off track a few weeks into January? You probably had a successful couple of weeks and then you’re back to the old version of yourself that you know only too well. It is exactly the same with dieting – it produces results in the very short term but it never lasts.  Recognising the limitations around setting expectations only to fail, this year I decided to set an intention for myself.

Setting an intention has been described as drawing a map of where you want to go, it becomes the driving force of your higher consciousness. Without an intention there is no map and you’re just driving down the road with no destination in mind.

I started 2019 with a wish to slow right down, to find an easier pace. I craved a still, quiet life, one where I didn’t need to look at my diary each day to know where I was meant to be and what I was meant to be doing. I didn’t want to snap at loved ones or mentally wave my hands for my husband to get to the point quicker whenever he spoke. I had become like a runaway train and I was desperate to get off the tracks.

Little did I realise, as I set my intention to slow down, the power of attraction. Books like The Secret talk about how the universe can respond to what you ask for, by attuning to your vibrational frequency.  If you are feeling stuck, unfulfilled or dissatisfied with life, the answer lies in raising your personal vibration to that perfect pitch where your intentions and desires resonate with the intentions and desires of the Universe. Sounds a bit crazy right?

Maybe not that crazy! I choose the words “slow down” at the beginning of 2019 to guide me through the year.  All the buzz phrases wringing in my ears …

◌   “Change your mind, change your life.”

◌   “Thoughts become things.”

◌   “Once you make a decision the Universe conspires to make it happen.”

I even published a blog on 5th January about my need for speed and how hard it would be to stop living life in the fast lane. Little did I realise that the universe would respond, just not as I expected it to!  With the summer solstice having just passed, we are now officially halfway through the year. I can well and truly say that my pace has dramatically slowed.

On New Year’s Day my nan had a stroke, the whole of January was hijacked by her being in hospital. The whole of February was hijacked by her moving to a nursing home. She died 1st March 2019 and that month was taken up with planning her funeral. April 2019 the grief and loss took a grip. I was debilitated and my world not only slowed down but felt like it had stopped. I tried to return to work but couldn’t go back to what I used to do (running 2 Community Investment Companies on behalf of a charity).  I handed in my notice after 10 years not knowing what I was going to do. The crippling fear of how I would pay the bills each month felt like tightness in my chest and a hand around my throat. Even with such worry I was certain it was right to make the break, it was time to do something different.

So the summer so far has been peppered with relatively empty days, I fill the space in between school drop offs and pick ups with chores, pottering about, daytime visits to the cinema and generally not dashing or rushing.

It feels odd, and unnatural, even wrong not to be busy. I am known as the person that does so much. To do very little makes me feel fraudulent or less worthy somehow. I had grown to wear my busyness as a badge of success. If you’re not in high demand, you’re worth and value must be low. Therapeutically, I know taking this prolonged time for self is beneficial and even transformational.

I have started doing things that I used to love. I now read books for pleasure, I’ve taken up yoga, I started jogging again. I now have time to listen to loved ones, I sit and play board games with the kids after school rather than shushing them so I can get through a few more emails.

Little did I realise at the beginning of the year that a bereavement and a resignation would slow my pace beyond belief. The slowing down that I had so desperately wished for manifest itself in my life ... I’m now trying to embrace it rather than push it away

So if you have an intention in mind why not offer it up to the universe?

◌   Make sure your intention has a positive tone, refrain from using any negative words.

◌   It’s more practical to set an intention for the short term rather than the long term. Breaking down the bigger goal into bite-size chunks or segments will help you achieve.

◌   Once you have set your intention be sure to use it daily either in meditation, mindfulness, vision boarding or affirmations. Keeping your intention alive and at the forefront of your mind is crucial.

 Go on … put it out there!