How to deal with the uncertainty of the future
The end of the year is a great time to reflect on the 12 months that have just passed. Were there some unexpected bits? Things you could never have predicted or anticipated? It is also a great time to look to the 12 months ahead. What are you hopes and intentions for the coming year?
We can spend a lot of time and energy worrying about what might happen in the future. Uncertainty and lack of control can cause stress and anxiety levels to skyrocket. Because our brains are future-predicting machines, it’s natural to want to avoid ambiguity. As human beings, we crave security, and that is why all of us are intolerant of uncertainty to some extent.
This blog has some simple tips to cope with the constancy of change....
Rate your stress and anxiety levels
When we are feeling stressed or anxious our emotional bank account is drained. We therefore have less resilience for dealing with life, or coping with change. Being aware of our stress is the first step to taking action to reduce it. On a scale of 1 to 10 how stressed or anxious do you feel right now? Why did you choose that number? What can you do to reduce it by one?
Focus on the now
Worrying about what might happen does not in any shape or form influence the outcome. You could spend the next few hours thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow and still not predict correctly. The future is unknown. What you do have is this very moment right now. What you choose to focus on now is where your power lies.
Identify what you can change
Whatever is causing you stress or anxiety, begin to identify the elements that you can and can’t influence. Anxiety is calling us to take action but be clear about what you can do to take action. Stephen Covey (who wrote “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”) developed a model called Circles of Influence:
Accept – these concerns are outside of your control and influence. Try to let these go and focus on what you can influence and control.
Influence – be realistic about the concerns you can influence. Score your influence on a scale of 1-10 and any concern scoring lower than 5, move to ‘Accept’.
Control – direct your time and energy towards the elements that you can control. This will minimise feelings of overwhelm and frustration.
Embrace change
Whilst you might prefer to stay secure within your comfort zone, no growth ever comes from staying the same. You could try and shift the way you view change. Welcoming change with the understanding that it will stimulate your creativity and resilience. Someone who is psychologically flexible is open to change, or may even find change exciting. When they’re working on a problem, they try lots of different solutions. They don’t see the world in black and white, they like to learn from others, and they often have some unusual ideas of their own.
Surrender to transitions
When something changes in your life—you leave a job, end a relationship, or lose someone you love—recognize that you’re now in a transition. Transitions take time to move through, and they can’t be rushed. Your identity (as an employee, partner, or friend, perhaps) will have to shift and change, as well. Be kind and accepting, and don’t expect too much of yourself as you struggle through this time.
Ask a different question
When life is hard, we often find ourselves harping on “why” questions: “Why is this happening to me?” In those moments, Try lett go of the “why” and asking “how” instead: “How can I change this situation?” Instead of “How do I stop working so much?,” try an easier question: “How can I find time to go to the gym?”
Go to your happy place
Using techniques such as deep breathing and visualisation can alleviate your physical reaction to stress and anxiety. Thinking about being in a safe, peaceful place releases feel good hormones into your body and keeps your heart rate low, preventing adrenaline and cortisol from flooding your body.
When life is hard and we are faced with a challenge, the internal battles we have in our own mind are the biggest of all. As the old saying goes “it is not what happens to you in life that matters, but how you deal with it.” If you want to develop your mental fitness over the coming year I can highly recommend Bear Grylls book “Mind Fuel.” Bear draws on his survival experiences to share the principles that have helped him overcome fear, develop a positive mindset and break through the obstacles that limit success in everyday life. The book has daily insights and prompt questions to help you reflect and engage personally with the concepts so that you can apply learning to your life.
Uncertainty is the only certainty there is. Know that you can take steps to get more comfortable with uncertainty.