Keeping Your Cool When the Temperature Isn't

It's 35.5 degrees outside (and rising) as I write this. The air feels heavy, tempers are shorter, even small annoyances seem to arrive with extra sting. Heat has a way of testing our patience.  

I have just driven a 15 minute journey across Bracknell and seen three road traffic collisions. It's not just our tempers that fray in extreme heat. Studies have shown that fatal traffic crashes rise by 3.4% during heatwaves, while overall crash risk can be as much as 15% higher on very hot days. Heat affects concentration, reaction time and mood—reminding us that keeping our cool is more than a figure of speech; it can be a matter of safety.

But perhaps that's exactly why days like this are perfect training grounds for the brain. Getting annoyed is automatic. Staying annoyed is often a choice. When someone is slow, when plans change, when the fan doesn't seem strong enough or the traffic crawls, the brain rushes to react. It wants to complain, to snap, to dwell. Yet every moment of irritation offers a small opportunity: pause before responding.

Many therapists encourage the "pause principle." When you feel anger rising:

  • Don't send the text.

  • Don't fire back immediately.

  • Give yourself a few minutes, or longer if needed.

Even a brief pause can reduce the intensity of the emotional reaction. Notice the feeling without immediately acting on it. Ask yourself: "Will this matter tomorrow?" Most annoyances won't. They are passing clouds, even if they feel like thunderstorms in the moment.

Focus on your breathing. Breathing should be your go to tool when you need to calm down whether that is from anger, anxiety or stress. Slow, controlled breathing helps calm the body's stress response. Try:

  • Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds.

  • Hold briefly.

  • Exhale slowly for 6–8 seconds.

  • Repeat several times.

Longer exhalations can help lower physical arousal associated with anger.

Change your environment if possible. Physical distance from a triggering situation often helps people regain perspective.

  • Go into a different room.

  • Get a glass of water.

  • Go to the loo

Use your senses to ground yourself. Focus on the present moment to help interrupt spiralling thoughts.

  • Name 5 things you can see.

  • Name 4 things you can touch.

  • Name 3 things you can hear.

  • Name 2 things you can smell.

  • Name 1 thing you can taste.

Take care of the basics - Anger is often harder to manage when you're:

  • Overheated

  • Hungry

  • Dehydrated

  • Exhausted

  • Under chronic stress

On a 35°C day, even mild dehydration or discomfort can make irritability more intense.

Remember anger is a signal, not a command

One therapeutic idea is "You don't have to act on every feeling you have."

You can feel angry and still choose patience.
You can feel provoked and still choose kindness.
You can feel heated and still keep your cool.

That choice—the gap between feeling and action—is where emotional strength grows. It is less about never getting angry and more about learning how to respond wisely when anger appears.

Keeping your cool isn't pretending everything is fine. It's recognising that your peace of mind is more valuable than winning an argument with the weather, another person, or the situation you're in.

On hot days especially, give yourself a little grace. The brain is trainable. Every time you choose calm over irritation, you strengthen that muscle. Not perfectly, not every time, but enough that over weeks and years, calm becomes your default setting.

And on a 35-degree day, that's a superpower worth having.

Nicola Strudley