Autumn: A good time for new habits

I don’t know if you have been feeling it recently … there is something about back to school and autumn that invites us to pause and consider new routines. The pace of life shifts and with it comes an opportunity to take stock. Not necessarily to reinvent yourself. Not to set yourself a long list of things you should be doing. But perhaps to ask yourself a gentler question: What would make my everyday life feel a little better?

Autumn can be a lovely time to look at our routines and habits. The end of the year and Christmas is up ahead but we have a couple more months to make a difference. We can notice what has been working, what hasn't and what we might like to do differently as we move into the months ahead.

One of the most useful things I encourage clients to remember is that change doesn't have to be dramatic to be meaningful. Think in marginal gains. We often approach change with an all-or-nothing mindset.

I'm going to exercise three times a week.

I'm going to meditate every morning.

I'm going to stop scrolling before bed.

I'm going to cook from scratch.

There is nothing wrong with ambition, but when the change is too large, it can quickly become difficult to sustain. We miss a day, feel that we've failed and abandon the whole idea.

Instead, think about marginal gains — these are small improvements that, over time, can add up to something significant. Perhaps you walk for ten minutes rather than committing to an hour at the gym. Perhaps you read two pages before bed rather than deciding you'll read a whole chapter every night. Perhaps you drink one extra glass of water. Of do your gratitude list each night. These things can feel almost insignificant in isolation. But habits are built through repetition and small actions that we can consistently repeat are often much more powerful than ambitious changes that we cannot maintain. The goal isn't to become a completely different person overnight, it's to make the next small choice that supports the person you want to be.

Habit stacking: use what you already do

One of the reasons new habits can be difficult to establish is that we try to create them from nothing. We tell ourselves: "Tomorrow, I'll start meditating at 7am." But what happens at 7am? We wake up, reach for our phone, make coffee, get distracted and suddenly the morning has disappeared.

A technique called habit stacking can make things easier. Rather than attaching a new habit to a particular time, attach it to something you already do reliably.

After I make my morning coffee, I'll take three minutes to breathe and check in with myself.

After I brush my teeth, I'll do a few stretches.

After I sit down at my desk, I'll write down the three things that matter most today.

After I get into bed, I'll put my phone on charge away from the bedside table.

The existing habit becomes a cue for the new one. And importantly, the new habit doesn't need to be huge. In fact, making it deliberately small can be helpful. We're trying to make the behaviour easy enough that our brain learns: this is simply what I do now.

Sustainability matters more than motivation. Something I often talk about with clients is the difference between motivation and sustainability. Motivation can be wonderful. It can get us started. But motivation naturally comes and goes. There will be mornings when you feel energised and enthusiastic about your new routine. There will also be mornings when you're tired, stressed, busy, or simply not in the mood.

A sustainable habit is one that can survive those days. So rather than asking: "What's the best routine I could possibly have?"

try asking:

"What's the smallest version of this routine that I could realistically keep doing when life gets difficult?"

If your ideal exercise routine is 45 minutes, perhaps your minimum is a ten-minute walk.

If your ideal evening routine involves reading, journalling and meditation, perhaps your minimum is simply putting your phone away and taking three slow breaths.

Having a minimum version of a habit means that difficult days don't automatically become abandoned days. And there is something psychologically powerful about that. We begin to build trust in ourselves.

Don't turn your habits into another way to criticise yourself

This is perhaps the most important part. Creating new routines shouldn't become another opportunity to judge yourself. You are not failing because you didn't stick perfectly to your plan. Life is unpredictable. Energy fluctuates. Circumstances change. Sometimes a habit that worked beautifully for three weeks suddenly doesn't fit anymore. That isn't failure. It's information.

Autumn doesn't have to be a season of transformation. There can be a lot of pressure around this time of year to get ourselves "back on track". But perhaps we don't need to get back to anything. Perhaps we can simply move forward.

Autumn offers an opportunity to slow down enough to notice ourselves. To consider which parts of our lives are nourishing us and which might benefit from a small adjustment.

Choose one thing.

Make it small.

Attach it to something you already do.

Make it easy enough to continue when motivation disappears.

And then give it time.

Meaningful change is rarely the result of one enormous decision. More often, it is the accumulation of hundreds of tiny decisions made repeatedly — the extra ten minutes outside, the glass of water, the earlier bedtime, the pause before reaching for the phone, the moment of checking in with yourself. None of these moments need to look impressive. But together, they can begin to change the shape of a life. So as the leaves begin to change, perhaps we can give ourselves permission to do the same — slowly, gently and sustainably.