Back to school ... back to reality?

Returning to school in a pandemic is uncharted territory and unsettling at the very least for children Some parents will be ecstatic at the thought of dropping their children off at the school gates next week, others will be full of anxiety and concern about the risks their child may be exposed to.

Schools have been making preparations to structure the buildings, classrooms and playgrounds to reduce risks of cross contamination. How prepared are they to deal with the emotions that will run high from pupils, parents and staff alike?

What can you do to help address your child’s wellbeing? how can you help top up their emotional resilience? Is it too late to equip them with some last minute coping skills? Have you given the same time and diligence to emotional preparations as the practicalities?

IF YOU THINK ITS OK TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL, THEY WILL

Back to school usually means falling into a familiar routine, but now everything is different, from the one-way system, staggered pick up and drop off times, to playground rules. If your child is nervous about returning, communicate with calm words and actions that it is safe. This will significantly increase their chances of a smooth transition.

COMMUNICATE INTENTIONS

In the whirlwind of back to school preparations be sure to set aside some time to talk to your child about how they are feeling about going back to school. Prepare your child with information before the term starts. Primary children may need you to walk them through the new school day.

HAVE A ROUTINE

Consistency and structure create a sense of safety for kids. Create predictability by having clear bedtimes, wake up times and mealtimes. Make handwashing a part of the routine at home, this will put COVID into a recognisable framework. 

CREATE AN ANXIETY TOOLKIT
Support your child to face their worries. Do you know what your child does to cope with stress? What are helpful coping mechanisms and what are the things that don’t help? You can help your child cope with challenging situations by creating an emotional first aid box of things that help make them feel better. You can keep it in the car for them to dip into on the way to school. Things inside might be -lavender oil, fiddle toys, affirmation cards to remind them that they have got this and feelings pass. My fav is “I can do this”, a breathing or mindful technique such as “5-4-3-2-1" (5 things they can see, 4 things they can hear, 3 things that can touch, 2 things they can smell, 1 thing they can taste) , so your child has a few things to do if they feel nervous, upset or annoyed. Don’t forget to remind your child that feeling anxious is the same as feeling excited.

These are the sorts of emotional preparations that can really help young people mentally prepare for the school year. My eldest daughter is shy in formal situations like the classroom. Last term we spoke about her putting her hand up more to answer questions and contribute in class. Without me encouraging her every morning and asking her every afternoon how many times she raised her hand, she would be quite comfortable not actively participating in lessons.

EMBRACE THE WHOLE RANGE OF EMOTIONS

As parents we tend to want to fix the difficult or uncomfortable stuff for our kids. This term be prepared to face a whole range of emotions from excitement, fear, anxiety, loss and frustration. Allow your child to communicate how they are feeling (this does not just have to be verbally). Empathise with them before jumping into problem solving mode.

BRAINS LEARN BEST WHEN THEY HAVE SPACE TO PLAY

You might be worried that your child has fallen behind academically, It is a known fact that brains to feel calm and at ease in order to learn effectively, so a child’s wellbeing take priority over schoolwork. Create down time for children to unwind, play and reconnect with friends again.

ONGOING DIALOGUE

Emotional preparations should not just be done before the school year starts, it can really help to touch base with your child on a regular basis about how things are going. It can be like pulling teeth asking a child how their school day was.  Parent Co put together a list of creative queries that are more likely to elicit a response:

  • What was the funniest thing that happened today?

  • What made you smile today?

  • How would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?

  • What is your teacher’s most important rule?

  • Tell me something you learned about a friend today.

  • If aliens came to school and beamed up 3 kids who do you wish they would take and why?

  • When did you feel most proud of yourself today?

  • If you had the chance to be the teacher tomorrow what would you teach?

September brings the start of a new season and a change of energy, take a moment to reflect on the promise of new beginnings. As a parent you have the opportunity to equip your child with a resilient mindset to cope with all the things that the upcoming school year holds. So, don’t forget to add one more thing to your back to school checklist!

Sending love and courage to all school returners whatever age.

Nicola Strudley