How do you know when enough is enough?

We have evolved as a society to want more and more. Faster broadband, more food retailers to choose from when ordering Deliveroo, more streaming platforms and channels to watch movies on. In supermarkets, shops, on the internet, almost everywhere we are surrounded with products which we could buy. Invariably we want more and more stuff and are not satisfied with what we have.

I always want more clothes & shoes. I love clothes. I have found fast fashion over the past few years has encouraged me to buy more, cheaper clothing for one season, rather than investing in a quality piece for years. Having just spent the morning ruthlessly clearing out my wardrobe, I recognised I’d reach the limit. There’s only so many pairs of trousers or scarfs a person needs.  I have been craving a capsule wardrobe of just 20 pieces that can be mixed and matched for different looks. I want a work uniform that does me every day. The Apple founder Steve Jobs was known for wearing the same clothes every day - his chosen uniform was a black mock turtleneck, blue jeans and New Balance sneakers. By not having to think about what to wear each morning, Jobs freed up useful time but it also played into him building a consistent personal branding.

In a society that encourages us to want more, how do you know when enough is enough? Are you aware of your limits and boundaries? Do you see the red flags? Do you feel the warning signs go off?

In my counselling practice I’m noticing more clients not recognising or able to hold a boundary line;

… The girl that is compelled to check and update her socials or message her friends/partner/parents tens of times a day.

… The frontline worker that’s not able to say “no” to yet another high-risk callout.

… The employee that feels putting in a 40 hour working week is not enough and uses a free 20 minutes in the evening or weekend to clear a few emails from the inbox, seeing this as a quick win.

… The parents run ragged by their kids constant demands or the societal pressure to do more.

If we always do just a little bit more how will we know what will push us over the edge? What is the thing that will tip you into burn out or break down or exhaustion? Usually, it is not a big dramatic event, but an accumulation of micro stressors. Seemingly the smallest of demands that layer up overtime will render you spent, without any more capacity to give.

* How close to full are you? * * How much more do you have to give? *

The first step to making any change is awareness. Without awareness we are oblivious. Here are some prompts to help you become more aware of your current capacity to take on more:

  • Do you have defined time and or space for work and find time and or space for relaxing?

  • Are you able to say no to requests?

  • Do you have time each week for yourself?

  • Do you have days off and weekends that are not booked up with commitments?

  • Do you have free time in your day that’s not accounted for – even if it’s just half an hour?

  • Do you look forward to the rush of fitting it all in? Does it feel boring if you have no plans?

  • Do you have time each week to practice a hobby?

If you don’t consider your answers to some of these questions, how will you know when enough is enough?

Don’t wait for your body to tell you by getting sick, decide yourself, now, what your limits are.

Nicola Strudley